La Petite Mort, or, LMNHtSYSfCtFD
by SilentG
Summary: Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry for Calling the Fire Department. The title says it all. Or, maybe it's not at all like riding a bicycle. B/A post-Loyalty WAFF ficlet.
1. LA PETITE MORT

**Author:** SilentG  
**Title:** Le Petit Mort, or, Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry for Calling the Fire Department  
**Fandom:** LO:CI  
**Pairing:** B/A  
**Rating:** M for descriptive 2nd base and excruciating embarrassment  
**Spoilers:** None. This story could take place any time, but I imagine it post-_Loyalty_.  
**Archive:** Anywhere – no need to ask – just attribute, and let me know if possible  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine  
**Summary:** The title says it all. Or, maybe it's not at all like riding a bicycle. 

**A/N 1:** Just a little smutlet. Not too graphic.

~.~.~.~.~

**CHAPTER ONE: LE PETIT MORT**

"What happened to her bra," she asked. He reddened and made fumbling gestures with his fingers, indicating his only partially-successful attempts to re-fasten it. "Oh, right. It's a little more challenging than _un_hooking them, isn't it?"

One hour earlier…

**o.o.o.o.o**

_Had making out always been this quiet?_

Mind you, it was their first time making out, and the last time before that had been, well… a long time ago. A distant memory in fact. In fact, not even a memory. More like another lifetime altogether.

Bobby was on his side with his back against the back of Alex's sofa. She was half underneath him, and the soles of her shoes squeaked against the tops of his as she tried to use them to lever herself somehow closer to him. Their lips made soft, wet sounds – wonderful sounds, as they moved over each other. Fabric rustled as skin sought skin. Every now and then Alex made a deep, quiet sound in the back of her throat that made him feel – if possible – even more randy and determined, and her sharp, shallow breaths hit his cheekbone with almost inaudible puffs. _Almost_.

Bobby's belt had creaked as Alex managed to jam her hand partway into his trousers, and he was sure her little fingers whispered as they played teasingly across the tip of his penis, if only he could hear it.

His right hand was threaded in the hair at the nape of her neck, and his left hand roamed the skin of her back and shoulders. He'd long felt the allure of the strong muscles that ran up the length of her spine, and he found that she liked to be touched there. In fact, every few moments brought evidence of a new sensitivity in her, and he tried to maintain the wherewithal to catalogue them. It was difficult. Alex was _very_ enthusiastic – so much so that it was a bit overwhelming. She was touching him under his shirt with her free hand; not only his chest and back, but she'd actually managed to get her arm partway down his shirtsleeve, so she could stroke and squeeze his bicep.

Her mouth was soft but firm when she kissed him, and she shivered as he touched the sweetness of her tongue with his. When she sucked his lower lip between her teeth and nibbled gently on it, he growled. He wasn't used to such tenderness – she caressed his mouth with reverence, and with love.

Alex kept her eyes open as she kissed him, which was both a surprise and a turn-on. Looking into those eyes that had spoken to him for 10 years was almost too much for him, alongside everything else that was happening at that moment. Bobby moaned at the thought, and Alex hooked her leg over his waist, drawing his clothed erection against the crux of her thighs. As an experiment, he held her fast against him and thrust gently against her (forcing the thought, _I'm too old to be dry-humping my girlfriend on her father's couch_, far away from him). Her response was quick and fierce: she arched herself against him and turned her head, letting out a muffled exclamation into his shoulder.

Her body was everything he'd occasionally allowed himself to dream of. Small and tight and firm and strong and impossibly soft. He dearly wanted to touch more of her. Bobby played his fingers over her bra clasp with a silent inquiry, and she groaned and wriggled against him in an encouraging way, seeking his mouth with hers yet again. He unfastened the hooks one-handed (_Some things you never forget!_) and slid his eager hand across her ribcage towards her bust. _He was about to touch Eames's breasts!_

Alex actually whimpered as he tweaked and caressed the soft, firm globes. "Oh, Bobby Bobby Bobby," she whined incoherently. His delight grew as he played with them; when he brushed his palm back and forth against her nipples, she _moue_d and pouted her cute lips. When he squeezed them, she grunted and buried her head in the crook of his neck. "It's too much, it's almost too much," she lamented, even while she arched and rubbed herself against him.

"I know, sweetheart," he whispered in reply, all the while continuing to thrust himself, gently and slowly, against her.

It was when he began to suck and kiss her throat that he felt the telltale tension and involuntary movements that told him she was close to her peak. Her hand was still in his trousers, but had long since stilled as her attention focused on her own pleasure. He could still feel her, though, and with the arousing knowledge that he was close to bringing her off without even laying a hand below or beneath her belt, he thought he could join her just from the occasional connection with the tips of her fingers.

"Don't stop, don't stop," she cried. Seeking more contact for her pleasure, he'd released her breasts to hold her more firmly against him.

"OK, OK," he said, returning his left hand to its previous station. "Is this OK, sweetheart," he mumbled into her neck between nibbles. Alex was holding her breath and expelling it in sharp, short bursts against his throat as her body tensed and arched. He prayed for fortitude as he felt his own body prepare for release. He fleetingly thought they should stop – perhaps Alex with her sense of decorum might regret such a raw exposure so early in their relationship – but he couldn't deny her, couldn't deny himself the chance to exalt her in this most precious and primitive of ways.

"Mmhmm," she mumbled into his collar, followed by an almost soundless, inarticulate cry as she tensed and trembled against him in her climax. Her body abruptly relaxed against him, and he quickly held her close and, with two more flexes of his hips, found his own satisfaction.

**o.o.o.o.o**

His first sensation was of her small, quiet breaths against the vee at the top of his chest. Her body was completely limp and he held her against him with a surge of satisfaction. "Alex," he croaked, his voice rough, "Are you OK? Alex?" He asked again, when she didn't reply.

His heart dropped to his shoes when he drew back and looked to find her out cold.

~.~.~.~.~

**A/N 2:** On another note, I haven't had any story stats in like 10 days. Any other authors have the same issue? I've emailed the support people twice, but nothing's happened. One more chapter, maybe two. Please review!

WORDS: 1216 UPLOADED Sunday, May 23, 2010


	2. LMNHtSYSfCtFD

**A/N 1:** I fainted once, and so Eames's experience is based on my own. It was embarrassing, but the firefighters were very cute.

~.~.~.~.~

**CHAPTER TWO: ****LOVE MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY FOR CALLING THE FIRE DEPARTMENT**

"Don't tell anyone, but it was Paddy O'Malley's sister-in-law." DeJawn Cooper was in the top bunk in the crib at Ladder 151. Her husband Wallis was in the bunk beneath her. The call she'd just returned from was her eleventh this shift; they were off at 6am and hoped to be able to rest 'til then.

"The cop?" They were whispering. Officially, keeping track of the families of other firefighters was discouraged, but they all did it.

"Former, or so I gathered."

There was a pause. "And? Was she OK? Jacobs said the boyfriend's a gorilla. Did he beat her up?"

"God no. Oh my, Wallis, that man is so whipped!"

**o.o.o.o.o**

"_Sir, it's just a bit unusual for someone to faint while they're lying down."_

_The poor guy was fretting. If he'd only stop shuffling around! He was worried, for one, and for two, obviously didn't like her two strapping colleagues fussing over his girlfriend. One of whom was being a smart-ass._

_Firefighters are always the first to arrive at calls. Most folks think it's a waste of resources, but actually, since there are fewer fires than medical emergencies, it makes sense for the fire crews to take care of the ambulatory, and let the paramedics take care of the really sick people. She was fine with heat stroke and epileptic seizures, but intubate someone? Forget it._

_When Cooper arrived with Jacobs and McCaffee, the woman was already coming to, but as she told the guy, you can lose a good 10 minutes when you lose consciousness, even for a few moments. She was a tiny thing, on the sofa with her shoes off and her head between her knees, with cold compresses on her neck and wrists. All the right things… he was probably a cop too. But fainting while hanging out lying on the sofa? Yeah, she wasn't going to provoke him about it like Jacobs did, but it was a bit weird._

_Cooper rolled her eyes at her colleague's stupid comment – geez, didn't he know better than to wave red at a bull? – but the guy was already talking. "Actually, uh – there's this thing, called 'la petite mort', it, uh, happens…" He trailed off and looked down awkwardly. "Um, it usually happens lying down," he mumbled in a rush._

_Oooooooohkaaaaaay. Jacobs and McCaffee made faces at her, but she had a communications degree from Berkeley. She knew what La Petite Mort was. You go sister! But what was the big dummy thinking? Calling 9-1-1, when he already knew what was wrong? He was in trubbbblllle!_

"_Ma'am, do you know your name?" The woman was coming around._

"_Well, I know it's not ma'am." How that guy smiled when she said that! He made a move towards her, but stopped cold when McCaffee held out a hand, and just stood in front of his girlfriend shifting from foot to foot. Didn't he know that made him look guilty? Even tho she was 100% sure he wasn't guilty of anything, except maybe being too fussy. Just wait til the kids come._

"_Eames!"_

"_You call your girlfriend by her last name?" That was it, Eames. O'Malley's sister-in-law._

"_We, uh, we used to – work together."_

"_Eames! That's my name." Jacobs gave the guy a dirty look, but him and Eames were both chuckling._

**o.o.o.o.o**

"Jacobs is a dickwad." She murmured her agreement. "So, what is la petey more?"

"Sometimes women – I mean people – but usually women – faint after a particularly great climax."

"You mean sex? How do you know it was particularly great?"

"Because she said so."

**o.o.o.o.o**

"_Mrs Eames, have you had anything to eat today?" The only sound was giggling._

"_Is – I've – is it normal to – be – like that?" He didn't seem embarrassed by her behaviour, which was points for him, but he really seemed worried._

"_Everybody's different, Detective…?"_

"_Just Bobby. Goren. We're both – we're not with the NYPD any more. Good guess though."_

"_My mother is Mrs Eames. And…" More giggles. "I was planning on having something later."_

_The guy, Goren, pursed his lips in annoyance. "Eames!" Then, " She's had plenty to eat."_

"_Could you be pregnant?"_

"_Well, if you'd been a half hour later…"_

_Goren covered his mouth and looked down. "Eames…" She didn't seem to hear him, but Jacobs looked up in annoyance. "It's just – she's not – herself. She's gonna…"_

"_Have you had any drugs or alcohol today?"_

"_No." That at least got a serious answer. _

"_Hit your head?"_

"_No."_

"_What's the last thing you remember before waking up?"_

_More giggles. The guy Goren turned away and began rubbing his neck._

"_The best orgasm of my life."_

**o.o.o.o.o**

"Oh my. She actually said that?"

"Hell yeah. You should'a seen his face! He looked like half of him wanted to pick us up and throw us out so we wouldn't hear her embarrass herself any more, and the other half wanted to jump up and high-five himself."

Wallis laughed.

"You know something else?" Wallis grunted. "It was their _first time_!"

"She told you that too?"

"Yeah. They were really a pretty cute couple. I think Jay and Mack, or Jay at least, was a bit disappointed that they turned out to be so sweet. There's something about that guy that got their caveman up… they really wanted an excuse to kick his ass. Especially since he did such a bad job of hooking her bra up… made him seem like a perv." Cooper stopped suddenly. "Ooops. Really, keep this on the down-low. I think O'Malley would love an excuse to kick his ass too. Don't give him one."

The crib was quiet for a few minutes. The only sounds were of the rest of the crew finishing their late dinner in the next room.

"I just hope that you and I are getting' bizaay like that at their age!"

"How old were they?"

"Well he's fifty, at least. She's mid-forties, I think."

"That's not so old."

"To be making out on the couch to the point of unconsciousness? _We're_ too old to do that!"

"Wanna bet?"

**o.o.o.o.o**

The firefighters were gone, and Alex was back to herself enough to be sheepish, although she didn't seem nearly as embarrassed or upset as Bobby expected her be. He'd tucked her into bed per Cooper's instructions and was now bringing her a tray with a poached egg on toast, a cup of chicken soup, and a big mug of hot, sweet herbal tea.

"So, do you, uh – remember much?" Bobby sat next to her on her big bed while she sipped her soup.

"Much?" She said, smirking.

"Uh…"

"Uh… Cat got your tongue, _Goren_?" She smirked again. "I remember enough to be worried that I'm going to get a call from my sister about our… _activities._" Bobby stared at her, horrified. "Don't worry, I'll just tell her it was my _other_ boyfriend."

"You'll do no such thing," he said indignantly. Alex laughed. "What about, um, before that?"

She chuckled into her soup. "Do you mean, do I remember enough to ask you if my hand was still wet when the firefighters arrived?" She looked at him coyly with her sparkling dark amber eyes. _She knew._

Bobby cringed in embarrassment. "She, um, Cooper, said, that you'd lose 10 minutes. I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed."

"I think I still remember the good bits, Bobby. But perhaps I need another example for comparison." She leaned over and kissed him briefly on the lips. He responded by grabbing her hand and kissing each of her pretty little fingers.

"Best orgasm of your life, huh?"

"For now."

~.~.~.~.~

**A/N 2:** Usually, when an author announces a number of upcoming chapters, the actual end result is at the high end or even higher, but this fic is FINISHED! Please review, whatever you thought! BTW I find I'm quite captivated by the Cooper family; are you wondering as much as I am how a Berkeley Media Studies grad ended up working with her husband fighting fires in New York? I might try to work them into a future fic.

BTW2: La Petite Mort is French for "the little death", which can be a euphemism for sexual climax, but can also describe the rare but documented phenomenon of fainting after orgasm.

WORDS: 1504 UPLOADED Monday, May 24, 2010


End file.
